


A Court of Shadows and Light

by WinstontheDuck



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-07
Updated: 2017-12-22
Packaged: 2019-02-11 15:07:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 16,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12937863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WinstontheDuck/pseuds/WinstontheDuck
Summary: It is a few years after the war. Everyone is trying to slowly recover from it and get things running again. Until Cynder an immortal fae warrior a few hundred years older than them shows up on Azriel's doorstep injured. Everything gets a little twisted and confusing. Some fights break out and everyone has some laughs. Azriel hopefully comes out of his shell and everyone gets or new friend or rival.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> All rights go to Sarah Maas! This is her work I just wanted to write a Fan fiction with my friend and put our own OC in it. Please enjoy! I am writing this with a friend so I definitely cannot take all the credit. Once again I hope you like it! Also I have tried to do some editing but it is far from perfect.

Cynder POV.  
The blood is pouring faster out of my gash on my stomach. The paved roads of Velaris are starting to blend together. The townhouse starts to appear in my blurry vision. I start to stumble more I start to trip over some things that are not there. People in the streets walk not noticing that I am bleeding out and fast. The door is another 50 yards 30, 18, 10, 5, 2. I raise my hand to knock on the door but in the end I more of fall on it than anything. That must of been loud enough cause I hear voices laughing then stop and a girl say I'll get it her voice is sweet and soothing to hear. I slid down the rest of the way down the door. Then the door flies open and I fall the rest of the way to the ground. I hear the girl who opened the door screech out and people pushing their chairs back getting up to see what she screeched at. Then someone yelping and someone running over to me and the pair of well-known hands falls onto my wound and a soothing voice say.  
“What have you done know.” The voice says  
I barely get out.  
“You know, anything and everything,” I say a smile forming on my lips as my world goes black not for the first time and definitely not the last.  
I feel arms inner circle me and lift me as if I were nothing but a baby.  
“Why is everyone so much bigger than me?” I ask  
A soft male voice replies.”I don’t know it’s just how you are .” 

Azriel POV.

Day 23 of the 2nd Summer Month.

'It had been a pretty normal day so far. Just the usual since the war. It was still a little tense, everyone still seemed a little shaken, but the joy, and hysteria of overcoming such a great enemy, overcame us, I must say, and we seemed to quickly forget that it happened, in some small moments.  
The only ones whom I observe, and the shadows speak of when, they come to me with news.  
Always seems to be Amren, and Feyre. Feyre I fear will never truly live down the terror of truly losing Rhysand. Although she was able to revive him, with the support of the other High Lords, knowing he had truly died, and that feeling. That feeling of true helplessness, and despair. Shall never truly leave, my sister, and High Lady in arms. It will haunt her for many centuries to come, but with the support of her sisters, and this family, she will one day be able to live peacefully, and perhaps, have moments of true happiness without that feeling, haunting, tugging at her insides. Pulling her to lose herself to anxiety, worry, and that fear.  
Now Amren, I must state will always be a true mask of emotions, even to I. As the shadowsinger, I know, and come to know many things some people will never know, and some things none could bear the weight of knowing, let alone holding onto.  
But one thing I have, and will never truly come to know or understand it what is going on inside the head, of the once most powerful creature in all of Prythian. Recently though I feel and sense, I have seen her open up, and break some small wall, one of many small walls she has been holding up, even for the centuries she has been with us.  
She seems to not come to terms with, or fully understand that she will never be like she once was.She stills drinks blood, and still talks as if she will live forever. Which may just be her pride, and ego coming into the open.  
But I am writing now, for I feel she is hiding something from us, something that might-'

I look up quietly from what I’m doing, and take off the glasses I was using while writing.  
I look around at my friends, and smile slightly, at the sight of Cassian, and Mor lightly arguing, Rhys, and Amren going over the stock on spices for the moment, and shipment and stock trades, while Feyre reads silently, leaning closely against Rhys’ side.  
The sisters did not show I’m afraid. Nesta has been put on bed rest while Elain attended her, for Cassian being a true idiot in nature, only a few years after the war, has already been caught in the leash of that fierce women, and they have happily decided or well not exactly decided, for I certainly did not need my shadows to report to me, for I believe everyone heard the ruckus  
those caused, when that beast of a women found out she was carrying, Cas’ child. Trust me, she might be bad normally, just wait till you see her with raging hormones, bared footed, a sniffling excuse for a husband, and a nine month pregnant stomach.  
It was hard to even get Cassian, out of the same room as her, let alone leave her alone in their house. So finding him, tagging along with the other people who had raided my once quiet home, was more than a surprise.  
Although to be more than honest, I already had already gotten news, about Nesta leaving her bed, and being up and about, not five minutes after Cas had left, although that was expected.  
Although I have many thoughts, on the topic of Nesta, I will always admire the lady, for many a reason.  
I am quickly brought out of my thoughts, when I feel the tension and concerns radiating from my shadows, about what is to come, although I can’t seem to make out what they are mumbl-  
I large bang on the outer side of my doorstep, what sounds like drunken shuffling, and the familiar thud of a body, had me, along with everyone else, also earning a small yelp from Mor, up on my feet, and quickly making my way towards the door. Wings tensed, syphons on ready, Cassian has already quickly flown or more likely crashed through one of my windows, to get to where he needs to be most when the presence of an enemy appears. By his wife’s side.  
Amren gets there before me, sliding open the door, to the sight of a small almost child like figure crumpled onto the cobblestone path on the street, and yet on my doorstep. The immediate scent of coppery blood, so pungent it fills my throat, as I choke, on the always familiar scent.  
I rush towards the small, now seeming to be women, on my doorstep. Amren, has already started talking to her, in a low voice, to low for even my ears to hear, and pressing a gentle, yet firm hand against, the place where, the blood seems to be leaking from.  
She struggles to respond, to what Amren is saying but coughing slightly, in a weak voice, I hear her say,  
“You know anything, and everything.”  
As her eyes roll back, and she coughs faintly again.  
I rush over quickly, and take Amren’s place.  
“You know her?”  
Amren clears her, nervously almost. “I might has some minor attachments to her, yes.”  
I sigh, and easily lift her up off the pavement, trying not to jostle anything. She seems to be breathing fairly steadily, so I know she is faintly stable at the moment.  
I hear a small raspy chuckle, and look down to see her long eyelashes flutter slightly.  
“Why is everyone so much bigger than me.”  
I feel my lips twitch upwards slightly, as I look down at her small figure, still trying to quickly get her inside, to somewhere I can treat her injuries.  
”I don’t know it’s just how you are .” I respond quietly, while nodding my head at everyone that I require no assistance with this, for it seems the bleeding has already toned down, to but a tiny trickle for the moment.  
So I begin to repair this small stranger, in my once again quiet apartment, with an audience of only shadows, and the last words Amren said to me before she quickly escaped out the door.  
“I will be the first person you will report to when she wakes up. I want full body repairs made, and any information she tells you, will be kept under only your knowledge.”  
I had narrowed my eyes at her, and responded the only way I knew.  
“If the information, she gives me could endanger any, one soul in this entire world, then what is known will not be only known to me, but to many others, before you even find out I have the information.”

Amren hisses, but quickly sticks me with an icy glare.  
“Stay in your place, shaodwsinger.”  
“My place is by your side Amren, for do not forget who is an equal member of the same Court as you.”


	2. Chapter 2

Cynder  
I see light dancing through my eyelids softly and feel the soft fabric underneath me. A low moan escapes my lips before I can stop it. I hear light footsteps come my way. I open my eyes only slightly a tall figure stands above me.   
“So what's the diagnosis doc.”I say with a small smile.   
“Well apparently, you had a fairly large stab wound on your midsection, with some minor bruising.” He says quite seriously.  
“Well I must ask, am I going to live from this?”I say quite seriously that I can't hold.  
He just stares at me silently I take that as my cue to try to sit up. Very bad choice I regret it the moment I try I start to fall backwards the man is there and helps me lay back down.

 

Azriel 

It’s been almost two full days since Cynder --my shadows speak of-- showed up on on the steps of my home.  
She arrived with multiple minor cuts and bruises that already seemed to be healing, and a large about two inch deep stab wound to the abdomen.  
Everyone has seemed highly concerned, and Rhysand seems reasonably tense.  
Anyone would be tense if a small, mysterious, scarred, and tattooed, woman turned up in their completely warded and protected against outsiders land. The only person who seems to have no reaction is Amren. Aside from the fact that no one has heard the minimum of a word from her since she disappeared as soon as she showed up.  
I have done as much research as possibly on her since my shadows came across her name, and I must express my deepest concern at what I found.  
Nothing.  
I found nothing, I searched in libraries across all of Prythian trying to find just a sentence about her.  
She has obviously been through many a thing, such as I, and to have so many scars and stories told on one body, and have no record of that…  
It’s completely impossible.  
The only possible explanation is if she is from another world. Which there is little possibility of, if none at all.  
But I shall continue to search, until I find what I am looking for, even if I have to travel to other worlds to find it. 

I set down my pen quietly, and turn towards Cynder, who is lying still on my bed.  
When I heard a low groan escaped her lips.  
I get up and make my way cautiously towards her.  
“So what's the diagnosis doc.” She speaks up her voice hoarse while I look her over carefully.  
“Well apparently, you had a fairly large stab wound on your midsection, with some minor bruising.” I try to keep it short and serious, skip the casualties.  
“Well I must ask, am I going to live from this?” She seems fairly serious, while she is sitting here in front of me conscious.  
She quickly tries to sit up, obviously without thinking of what the effects of being asleep for so long, and blood loss would do to her.  
I rush towards her silently laying her back down.  
“You must of learned after all of these wounds you have that healing comes slowly, and doing things like sitting up quickly, and straining yourself, are the things you need least after a severe injury.”  
She seems to fidget slightly, and frown, avoiding the subject. “You never answered my question, am I going to survive this terrible, terrible injury.” She seems to lose her uncomfort as soon as she opens her mouth, and her eyes almost roll back into her head while she ‘sasses’ me.  
I grunt in response, ticked slightly by her act.  
“Must you always be so quick to change the subject, I have only had a mere three short conversations with you, and yet every time you seem to avoid something. Such as. How do you know Amren?”  
There is something about this little monster that seems to rile my temper, hopefully I will found out what it is quickly so I can get rid of her.  
She seems far too much trouble for what she is worth, especially if she knows Amren.  
But remember many gave you a chance when you were too much too handle, never forget your place boy. My shadows whisper cruelly in my head, and it stays ringing in my ears for many a moment.


	3. Chapter 3

Cynder  
He just keeps asking questions. It’s annoying I don’t like being questioned. That's the thing with me I'm good at asking questions and getting answers but when it comes to me if you want info you don't ask for it I give. It goes on for a few more seconds then I swing my legs off the bed a little and sit up. I feel dizzy for a few seconds because of blood loss and my body righting itself. The man with me starts to try to push me back down onto the bed but I wave him away.  
“Stop, I don't need your help.”  
He frowns at me, and then sighs turning away. I stand up and look around for my heels.  
“Where are my shoes?” I asked   
He turns around.  
“I threw them away.” He says  
“WHAT!!!You threw my shoes away you have to be kidding me.” I say  
“No.” Turns around and starts to in his stupid journal again.   
I walk to the door than out it. I walk down the hallway to the stairs. I feel him in the shadows. I would usually call whoever was doing it out but didn't have the strength to do that. She was about to go deal with her mother she need to save the strength she had for that. I saw the stairs I get to them and I jump into a 360 backflip off the top of the stairs. I land on the last step and lose my footing and land on my knees. I yell up the stairs.”If you hadn’t thrown my shoes away and I had them on I would have made that thanks a lot.”   
I walk the rest of the way out of his house. I walk through the city to my mom's apartment. When I get there and take off my Bugs and the world goes silent.I walk to the window and close the curtains I still sense that guy around. I walk over to the shelves in the corner. I move some things that are blocking a small hidden compartment in the wall. I slide it open and grab the bag that is there. I start to root around in the bag and pull out new undergarments, a big sweater, a pair of black leggings, and fluffy soft socks. I had wondered where I had hidden these things for the last hundred years. I strip down and pull on my undergarments. I stop mid dressing when my hand slides over my new scar on my stomach. The wound on my stomach all healed. I walk back over to see if I had a tattoo kit in this one I didn't I guess I was going to have someone do it for me. I walk back over to my shirt and slid it on over my head and walk back over to the bag and grab a pair of boots and grabs another shirt cropped a little ways above my belly button with black long sleeves. Take off the shirt I had on and slid on this new one then grabbed my long black hooded vest and put it on. Did my usually cat eye and dark red lipstick put my long black hair up into a ponytail and tied up my boots. I walked over to where I put my Bugs in and the world has sound again. I leave my mother's apartment. I flip up hood and start to explore the city. A little later I find a tattoo place. I walk in and walk over to the idea book and start to flip through it. Then I land on a Latin phrase AVE ATQUE VALE the meaning hail and farewell. I walk over to the tattooist.   
“Can you do this one for me please?” I ask   
“Yeah over here.” He says   
He leads me over to a corner behind a screen and sits me down on a reclining and inclining bed thing.   
“So where do you want it?” He asks   
“Right here. Along this scar please.” I say   
“Yup you got some nice art on you. Who does yours?” He says   
“ I usually do it myself but I didn’t have my stuff.” I say   
“That’s really cool.” He says   
He gets his needle and starts. The pain doesn’t even really register anymore no pain really does. 

A half and hour or so later he says I’m done. I pay him and leave. I walk through the city then I sense someone in the shadows again. It’s the man with me this morning I walk over to the shadow he’s in and grab him by his ear and push up against the wall be his throat and have my knee up to knee him in the groin if needed.   
“Stop following me. I’ve had enough of this crap for ten lifetimes. So stop the crap.” I say   
Then I drop him onto his butt. He looks a little stunned that a 5”2 girl lifted him easily off the ground without even trying. I turn around and walk away back to where I know on one will bother me except my mother and I’m wondering if be around her is worst than dealing with that dude that’s been following me for a good part of the day. I side with going to moms. I come walking in and there sits a guy white hair tan skin at my mom's kitchen table.  
“Your from the summer court right?”I say   
His head spins toward me so fast I thought it was going to keep going around and around.   
“Who are you?” He asks   
I walk over to him and stick my hand out for a handshake.  
“Names Cynder I take care of the thing behind the curtain.” I say with a big smile before he can say anything I say. “Your Varian right prince of the summer court my Amren’s boyfriend.”   
“Yes and yes.” The voice comes from behind us. We turn around and there stands my traitor of a mother Armen.  
“How is my little piece of light.” She says towards me  
“Your little nothing is good.” I say   
I lean over and untie my shoes and take them when down I sing a note and the bugs switch off. The women who made them for me made four modes on.off,out,and sensitive. Armen keeps talking but I don't reads her lips to see what she's saying or turn the bugs on. My world is silent and it feels nice not to hear anything, for just a moment to zone out the world for a bit. I feel a tap on the shoulder and sing a note and they turn back on.  
“You weren't even listening to me were you?” Says Armen   
“Nope.”I say matter of factly and jump onto the bed   
“Tonight the inner circle is having a meeting I want you to come.” She says   
“Why?” I say   
“Because I want you to get to know the people that have become my family.” She says   
“Yeah why would I want that when they're the ones that replaced me.” I say and look her dead in the eyes. They eyes she gave me. Her eyes don't have the power they used to.   
“Please.”She says   
She never says please but why would I ever do anything for her. The person that sold me like I was nothing like I was the dirt on her shoe. Did I asked if I wanted to be brought into this world no. Did anyone ask me if I wanted to be here no. So why was I the one that was getting punished for her mistakes.   
“Fine.”I say and that was the end of it.  
I sang a note and my bugs went off. 

Azriel

I Decided to follow her through town, there is no where this strange girl is going without me being aware.  
Especially if I know not if she is a danger or not, and with the stunt she pulled with the stairs I know she is perfectly capable of jumping on an innocent bystander.  
I silently follow her downtown towards a small tattoo parlor, and frown silently when she comes out with slightly red inflamed skin showing slightly underneath her shirt.  
Why does she cover her scars as if she is ashamed of them?  
I shake that thought away as quickly as it came, and glance down at my own hands.  
I continue to follow her, the thought not crossing my mind that maybe I’m too close, until I am pinned against a wall by the little monster herself.  
How can someone so tiny be so strong. Other than Amgen I must say, but now thinking of it she does seem a lot like Amren.  
Once she lets me from the wall, realize I’m grinding my teeth, I slowly try to relax, and then send my shadows after her, while climbing onto the rooftops, and fading into the shadows, so I can continue to follow her.   
I see her walk freely into Amren’s apartment, I wait a few moments just to make sure she doesn’t end up dying. Once I hear the slight hum of conversation, I decided to turn back and go back to my home. I will have a long talk with Amren and Rhys at the meeting tonight.

 

 

Cynder  
I woke to the vibration of my mother walking over near the bed to wake me. I let a single note escape me and the bugs wake. Sound is there again. I open my eyes and sit up all before she reaches me. Armen stops and starts to walk away from me. I see Varian is still here. I take a quick check of what they're wearing. Simple and comfortable looking. Okay I thought I can do that. I pull on the sweater I was going to wear early today and found a pair of crazy leggings. They were all neon colors I loved them. They looked like a rainbow spat up on them.   
“What are those.”Amren asks  
“There my rainbow spat up paints.”I say cheerfully   
I pull out of my bag a pair of fluffy soft slippers. Amren comes over to me and taps on my shoulder.  
“Yeah.”I say   
“Let’s go.”She says   
“K. Let’s go meet your family.”I say   
“Please don’t do that.” She says   
The three of us leave the apartment. We get to stairs made from the mountain I look up,and there at the top of the mountain is a house.   
“Nope. I don’t do stairs.” I say   
“Then how are you going to get up there then?”   
“I don’t know but I’m not going up those stupid stairs.” I say   
I walk away from the stairs, and look up to see the really quiet and serious I guy woke up to see sitting across from my sleeping form.  
“Hey.”I yell   
He looks down at me. “Mind giving me a ride up?” I yell up at him.  
He seems to decide to keep going when he turns and comes skyrocketing towards me. It seems like he’s not going to stop. I feel like we’re playing a game of chicken, and I’m not the one going to be called chicken in the end. He keeps coming at me. I just stand there with my hand on hip in my crazy looking leggings. He makes a big backstroke at the last minute and is able to land right in front of me.   
“So I’m going to take that as yes.” I say   
He doesn’t reply just walks over to me and picks me up wedding style and shoots into the sky without even seeing if I was ready. A sound doesn’t come out of me just a smile that spreads over my lips and my eyes fall shut and I let the wind be the only sound. The ride ends all too quickly. We land in the House of Wind.


	4. Chapter 4

Azriel

After Cynder decided to go face the beast, I went back to my townhouse to get ready for the meeting this completely useless meeting that Rhys has decided to call. We all already know what’s going on, and Cassian is on high alert with his small version of him on the way, and Cynder being here.  
I sigh slightly, and start humming to myself.  
Passing the mirror on the way out the door, I pause looking myself over.  
Once again I didn’t try too much for my appearance, I am wearing just a plain white shirt, and black pants, my almost usual.  
I fix a small lace on the front of my shirt, and quickly look away, walking out the door.  
I take off into the skies, knowing that if I walk I will be late this time.  
Maybe next time. I could always use the exercise.  
“Hey!”  
I look down quickly to see Cynder, wearing the most colorful things I’ve ever seen, they could almost rival one of those splatter paint things that Feyre makes, when she is angry at people.  
“Mind giving me a ride up.”  
What.  
She expects me to give her a way into the House of Wind. Where everyone including Nesta is.  
Pregnant Nesta, with a bipolar Cassian lurking around every corner.  
No, too dangerous. Too many things could go wrong.  
I hesitate, but she isn’t Elain, Nesta, or Feyre. And the war is over.  
It won’t happen again, besides she will be in a room with all of us including Rhysand.  
No one will get hurt.  
I turn back towards her, and fold my wings into a dive straight for her.   
When she doesn’t move I realize this girl is either insane, or has a death wish. Everyone knows, you don’t stand in the path of an Illryian for that matter.  
I pull back, landing on front of her.  
“So I’m going to take that as a yes.”  
I walk towards her silently pick her up, and take off.  
Looking at her I realize how much I’ve taken for granted being able to fly.  
I am free, I can go where ever, I’m not limited to just the earth.  
I sigh, shaking away my thoughts, and silently land in the House of Wind.  
As soon as I set her down, the whole house goes silent.  
Cassian turns towards me silently, and looks from me to the girl.  
“How dare you.” he snarls at me, I take things as my cue.  
“Cassian she is safer in here with us than ou-”  
I don’t get to finish my sentence before, Cassian launches himself towards me, pushing me out the window, taking me with him.  
“Did you really just push me out, without even letting me explain.” I grunt with effort as I push him off me, and snap my wings back, letting myself hover for a few moments before shooting into the sky, a fuming Cassian following right behind.  
“Do I really need to hear your explanation, you brought a dangerous person, let alone dangerous stranger, near my wife and child.” He catches up with me, and pulls me back forcing me to look at him.  
“Did you ever think for one second that, I didn’t consider the fact that, she will be surrounded by all of us. She is in more danger than any of us in that room.”  
Saying this seemed to calm him down, and he glares at me slightly, before flying quickly back to his mate, who is now looking out the window at us, concerned.  
Once I am back inside I am stopped by Nesta.  
“Don’t worry about it Azriel, he has been like this to everyone so far, I’m surprised he didn’t tackle Morrigan out the window, when she offered me sweets.”  
I chuckle slightly.  
“That’s because we both know if he tried anything, he would be the one being pushed out a window.”  
Nesta laughs, holding her stomach lightly.  
“How are you feeling?  
She frowns, “I didn’t think this child could wait any longer, being a child of Cassian’s.”  
I laugh fully this time, and kneel down, putting a hand on her stomach.  
“I am excited, to get the chance to fight for you, little monster. Keep your father in check, okay?  
Nesta laughs again.  
“I’m sure she will.”  
I grin at her. “Have you told him.”  
“He doesn’t know, I know, I want it to be a surprise.”  
“He will be very happy, don’t worry.”  
She nods, and walks back to the group

“I see…” Cynder hums from beside me.   
I frown, watching everyone tensely continue on with what they were doing, as if none of them have one eye on her, and another on Cassian.  
“You see what?”  
“You like kids” She says thoughtfully  
“Yes, that child is going to be apart my family. I’m going to be what you would call an uncle.”  
I frown again.  
“At least that is what the sisters call it. I will protect that child with my life, I will protect Cassian and his family with my life.”  
Cynder smiled at me “That is actually kind of sweet.”  
I huff “It isn’t sweet it is the truth. Now if you really want to be here for a meeting, about yourself, then you might as well find a seat.”  
I walk towards my usual seat, on the two seater chairs with arm rests.  
Cynder walks up, and not so elegantly plops down beside me.  
Our thighs rub together, and I scoot over slightly, give her more space to sprawl if I must say.  
“Must you be so close to me.”  
She chuckles “ Yes, I must be so close to you.” she sighs dramatically “My only goal in life is to get a rise out of you.”  
I sigh, and shake my head.  
“You’re in my spot.”  
I look up to see a tense and annoyed Mor.  
“You have spots. Like children.” Cynder speaks up, while cleaning her nails.  
Mor rolls her eyes, while we all stay silent watching this small spectacle. “Yes and you’re in mine.”  
I sigh, and stand up pulling Mor aside. “You haven’t sat next to me in months, go sit with Feyre like you usually do, it’s just a bloody seat.”  
She glares at me. “So just because I haven’t sat next to you in a while means, I just can’t anymore.”  
I rub my brow “We are not doing this right now, just please go sit.”  
I walk back towards Cynder, and sit down, flaring my wings slightly for balance.  
Just as the door slams open, and Amren, and Varian walk through the door, Rhysand stands up, clapping his hands.  
“Now that we are all here, let’s get started.” He shoots a heavily breathing Varian a small grin.   
“What took you guys so long.” Everyone chuckles, while Amren shoots him a small glare to match his grin.  
“Let’s get on with it. What are we going to do with you, and who are you?”  
Cynder stands up with a small sigh. “My name is Cynder, I am warrior once from this land, but that was a good maybe a little less than a Millennium ago, I knew your parents at least, if they were alive, they could have told you that I have a slight alliance with the Night Court, or at least I do now, with Amren being a part of it, but that is all I shall share for now.”  
I stand up “I will take what I get, I trust that you are telling me the truth.”  
“I swear it on my rainbow pants.”  
Mor sighs, while Feyre laughs. “That’s isn’t very comforting.”  
Amren walks towards the center of the room. “ I can vouch for her story. We do know each other, and she will not try to harm or cross anyone in or of Velaris.”  
Rhysand sits back crossing his legs. “Well then you are welcome. You may stay with Azriel so he can keep an eye on you.”  
Cassian stands up this time. “That’s it you’re just going to let her stay here, nothing said.”  
“You dare go against my words, warrior?” Amren hisses at him.  
“Yes, and she will be staying with Azriel as Rhys said before, do you not trust him to protect us? Besides any dreamer is welcome in The City of Starlight, and she does seem to match the description of a dreamer.” Feyre speaks quietly, but we all clearly hear her.  
“Sorry to speak up after that, but do I have any say in where she resides?” I say quickly.  
Everyone sighs, and I look down silently.  
“If he does not feel comfortable with a stranger in his home, then he has a right to speak against it.” Mor says loudly.  
“Mor, I am fine with it, if it means I am doing my duty, and protecting you all, I just want to know for how long?.”  
“Until she can find a job, or training, and a place to stay that she can keep up with.”  
“I still think we shouldn’t let her just stay.”  
“Mor, everyone has spoken, are you seriously saying we should take a vote.” Nesta snaps.  
“Yes I am.”  
“Are you just going to continue talking about me as if I’m not here, or can we get this over with so, I can go eat.” Cynder says slowly.  
“Fine all in favor say I.” Rhys says.  
A unanimous ‘I’ comes from everyone but Mor, and Elain who had come down listen to us argue.  
“I guess you can stay, congratulations…”  
“Cynder”   
“Cynder. Welcome to our home.” Rhys smiles and waves a hand signalling that the meeting is over.  
Cas walks over to me, grinning. “Maybe this is a good thing, you need someone like that to make you show a little more emotion.”  
I wince. “This is going to be an interesting thing, I’m leaving. Cynder! If you want a ride down I’m leaving.”  
She runs up to me. “Don’t think that you can just have me at your beck and call, now that you’re ‘in charge’ of me. I can do what I want.”  
I give her a once over. “Okay.”  
I open my wings, beating them a few times I stay in front of the window. “I’m guessing this means you want to walk down, I have to get back soon I have writing to do so make it fast, the walk down that is.”  
I start to fly away.  
“Get back here! You’re almost as bad as Helion!”  
I chuckle and fly back into the window. Quickly picking her up I go into a straight dive bomb towards the ground.

 

Cynder

I let a whoop slide out of me and I laugh. We land easily on the front lawn at the town house I came into bleeding. This time I actually got to look around and see were everything was.   
“Nice place.” I say   
“Thanks.”He says “I decorated myself.”  
I burst out laughing. He starts to laugh too.  
“So where’s my room?” I say   
“Come on follow me.” He says   
He starts up the stairs. He gets to the top before he realizes I haven’t followed him.  
“Come on don’t you want to see your room?” He asks  
“I already said I don’t do stairs.” I say   
“Then how ar—.”He doesn’t get to finish his sentence.  
“That’s how going to get up those stairs.” I say   
“So you can winnow.” He says more to himself  
“Yup. Lead on.” I say   
He turns around and keeps walking we walk past the room I woke up in this morning. The next door beside that room he opens the door. Inside is a good size room. It has everything I could need, but there was something about it that I was not crazy about, and I couldn’t put my finger on it. The walls were painted a nice light pastel blue with white trim. It kind of reminded me of the summer court colors or the sky after a storm. Anyway it was a beautiful room. The bedding was white all the accents. There was tons of light spilling into this room finding every shadow and weeding it out because of big bay windows. The light there was so much light in this room I felt unsafe because of it. I turn around to Azriel and push a smile onto my face and say.   
“This room is perfect thanks.” I walk into the room turn around and smile at Azriel and close the door behind me and sink to the floor. I feel like a pit of nothing just nothing and I feel a silent tear slide down my face. The world is back to the nothing I always feel the constant doubt and hate at myself that’s always there. I find the one dark place in the room where light never touches, and I think to myself Feyre is wrong I am not a dreamer I am nothing but in a nightmare wishing to be in a dream.


	5. Chapter 5

Azriel

I am not shocked that she showed no reaction to me dive bombing the ground except that small whoop, but I’m still slightly disappointed in myself for trying to speak out against her staying with me. I of all people should know to never show your true opinion on something.  
I showed her to her room, and am now standing outside her door. The smell of salt fills my nose, as I quickly turn back towards the door.  
“Cynder?”   
No response.  
I knock on the door “Cynder, open the door.”  
Again no response.  
I send my shadows through the door. She was huddled up as closely as possible to a small corner of the room.  
Why are you crying?  
“Because I have been in the shadows for too long, and I can’t seem to see a way out.’’ It’s muffled slightly, by her arms, but I have never heard anything so clearly in my life.  
And I can’t seem to see a way out.  
I stumble away from the door, and quickly run out the door, taking off as soon as the sun hits my wings.  
I don’t seem to notice wind, and slight rain coming down, I am too caught up in the fact that my whole life was summed up in one sentence by a small broken girl.

Later that night

I come home to quiet, but instead of just the usual chirping silence of bugs, and the ocean, everything seems solemn. The silence has a tone of sadness as if everything seems to be mourning the loss of many wars, and many lovers.  
Although it’s probably just me feeling this way, and making everything else feel awful.  
I huff a laugh, my white breath standing stark against the night.  
Slowly opening my door, I walk into the kitchen taking off my shoes, and making quick work of my shirt, as quick as it can be with a giant set of wings on your back.  
I start on dinner almost forgetting that there is now two mouths to feed.  
Seeing as I have heard no word from anyone I’m guessing it is going to be a quiet night in for many of us.  
Once the food is prepared I eat in silence, leaving the rest out for her.

Cynder  
I walk silently down the hall and winnow down the stairs without a word of a whisper of anything I walk into the kitchen not even thinking to look if anyone’s in there. My senses dulled by the lack of hearing for a moment. Then I feel another presence in the room and I look to the kitchen table and there Azriel suits eating silently. Well everything is silent for me when my bugs are out. I catch him saying hey. I say hey back. I see a thing of food on the stove. I go to grab a plate but see I’m not tall enough to reach and I curse my mother for her shortness and giving it to me. Then I feel a body pressed against my back for a second and then gone and I spin around and look to see that Azriel had grabbed me a plate. He hands it to me. Thanks I mouth. I plate food for myself hopping he’s not saying anything. For we all know that he’d realize something was off. I contemplate going back to my room. I rethink that again my room. I’ve never had my own room unless you called a dark pitch rock hole in the ground with nothing but a blanket a room. I decide not to. I pull a chair from the kitchen and start to eat. The food was really good. All I can think is that. I’m living with someone who can cook awesome. I can't cook worth my life. So you can say my cooking is some people’s worst nightmare that’s pretty sad off you think about it. I try to look up every now and then to see if he was speaking. He was not thank goodness I look up again and he’s gone. I look around and he’s just behind me getting more food. I take a deep breath and go back to eating. I move to put my plate away and start to clean the dishes. When I’m done I run up to my room and put my bugs back in. Then head back down the stairs to do some cloths shopping. Something I’ve need to do for a centuries. I winnow down stairs and there’s Azriel writing at the table.   
“Hey I’m going out shopping do you want to come and show me around it's been a long time since I’ve been here.” I say “So are you coming?”   
“Sure.” He says 

Azriel

Day 26 of the 2nd Summer Month 

 

It has been exactly 3 days since Cynder showed up. Its seems as if everyone has had a slightly similar reaction to her. Hesitant, distant, and wary to be around. Hopefully I will be able to find out more information about her so I can figure out why she is truly here. Sadly after what happened a few hours ago, I am also hesitant to ask her anything, or go behind her back to find out anything, she has been through much I doubt she will enjoy the fact that I’m doing it.   
Maybe I should just talk to her about it, either way if it truly comes to it I will do anything for the people of Velaris. My family.   
I never got the chance to have a small talk with Amren about how she knows Cynder.  
I shall keep my shadows out, even after what happened during the war, and Amren proving she is worthy I will still be wary, especially since she was willing to sacrifice Feyre for it.  
Either way the fact that Nesta is very very soon to be giving birth to Cassian’s daughter this must take up most of my attention. Nesta has asked that I help her during her ‘maternity leave’ shall we say.  
That child is one of the most important things to me, and I must prove no matter what that I am willing to do everything in my power to protect.  
So I must be even more diligent in my task on making sure Cynder is a safe person for Nesta, and the baby to be around.  
I am worried about the fact that Mor is in no way appreciating in the fact that we all agreed to allow her to stay for now. The tension between those two could lead to some serious unneeded problems, and neither of them seem to be people who hide their distaste in another.  
I of all people know Morrigan is willing to fight anyone who is against her, and Cynder is definitely against her. How much bad vibes my shadows sensed between those two during the meeting. 

I take a small sip of my chocolate, and continue eating. Cynder had come down a few seconds ago, I look up to see her trying to reach the plates. I get up and reach for the plate leaning over her body to do so.  
I never truly realised how small she was, until I was standing over her.  
She mouths a small thanks at me. Nodding, I turn back around and sit down, to continue eating.  
After getting more food, and continuing to write. Cynder had just finished her food, she winnows upstairs, and quickly comes back a little more talkative.  
“Hey I’m going out shopping do you want to come and show me around it's been a long time since I’ve been here.”   
Shopping? She wants me to go shopping with her, I have never really gone on a shopping trip with other people. Mor always says I’m boring to go with, and shopping with the guys is a line I don’t think we are ever going to cross.  
“So are you coming?”  
“Hmm, sure.”  
I quickly throw a shirt on, and some shoes, making sure to put a small dagger in my boot as usual.  
I walk out the door to see Cynder waiting for me.  
“Are you finally done primping your majesty?” She smiles wickedly at me.  
I grunt, and continue walking towards the downtown, where most of the shops are.  
“Just because I say one things, doesn’t mean you have go all pouty on me, and try to stomp away! Slow down!” Cynder huffs, and runs to catch up to me.  
I slow down, and smile slightly.   
“Well let’s go shopping, if you can keep up.”  
She snorts “Have you ever been on a serious shopping trip before.”  
“No, but I have had to spend months serving food to hundreds of Illryian warriors, and you have to be able to be fairly fast to feed them. We all eat a lot and fast, so having to not only serve, but cook the food is a punishment all to itself.”  
She laughs. “You’re gonna have to tell me more about that some day, and how you ended up in that situations.”  
So we went shopping, and I might have been wrong. You need to be a lot faster to keep up with a female when she is shopping. Even serving Illryians can’t prepare you for that.  
I am starting to understand how grateful Rhysand is when he isn’t dragged along.


	6. Chapter 6

Cynder

When we get back after shopping, I have almost a whole new wardrobe and it’s amazing.  
“I haven’t had any new clothes in so long” I say to Azriel on the way back to the house.  
I look behind me and see a slight smile playing on his lips.  
“What?” I say  
He just smiles even wider and walks faster. Then I look towards the house and see Rhysand and Cassian, Azriel’s friends.  
“I guess I should probably go up to my room.” I say when I reach them   
“Not if you don’t want to we’re just having a drink.” says Rhysand “I would gladly have one of those just let me put my stuff away and put something clean on.” I say and winnow inside of the house and up into my room. I go through my cloths and see a baggie pair of blue and purple pants and a black cropped top that ends a little ways above my belly button showing off my new tattoo, and I put on a long sweater cardigan. I winnow into the living room. Cassian jumps a little when I’m suddenly there.  
“You know there are stairs right there.” He says   
I say right to his face as serious as Azriel. “I don’t do stairs.”  
That makes Rhysand burst out laughing.  
“No really she doesn’t do stairs.” Azriel says seriously  
“Wait, what really, you don’t do any stairs how do you do anything with stairs then?” Cassinan ask.  
“I’m not telling. Now may I have that drink you so kindly offered. Thank You.” I say when Rhysand hands it to me.   
I sit down in one of the chairs my whole body fitting into it like the chair ate me.  
“Help I’ve been eaten by the chair.” I say quietly enough I thought no one would hear.  
But then I hear Azriel say. “You really do look like you’ve been eaten.”   
I burst out laughing so hard my wine sprays out my mouth onto my pants. That makes Azriel start to laugh then the others start to laugh to we’re all laughing.   
“Stop making me laugh you're going to make me pee myself so stop.” I say wiping a tear from my face because of laughing so hard.  
I take a careful sip of my wine, then another. The feeling of drinking this again starts hit things I don’t to think about here with these guys.   
“Hey Cassian could mate be in labor right now?” I say  
“No I would know. Ahh but I should be at home right now.” Says Cassian   
“I should be getting home tonight man. Night Cynder.” Rhysand says  
“Night.” I say   
I quickly winnow up stairs and grab a book and winnow back into my chair with wine still in hand. Azriel is working quietly on the couch. About an hour later I hear a quiet snore I look up to see Azriel sound a sleep on the couch. I see a blanket in the Corner and cover him up and winnow up to bed. I strip down to my under clothes and sing a couple notes and my bugs crawl out and I put them on the night stand and crawl into bed. The silence is soothing and I fall into a deep sleep.

Azriel 

I wake up to birds chirping, and the slight bustle of people outside. Happening to live right one the edge of the water by a slight beach I also get the relaxing sound of water, although sometimes it’s not exactly relaxing. It’s a beautiful beach, it has a few black cherry trees that grow along the edges of the sand, and going for walks, and runs is a daily routine on it for me.  
I get up off the couch slowly trying to work the knot in my neck.  
Why am I on the couch?   
I shrug to myself, and get up quietly making my way to my room to get dressed for a run.  
Putting a light pair of stretchy, baggy grey pants I as easily as possible with wings change into a slightly tighter black shirt.  
Leaving the house it was fairly quiet, so assuming Cynder is not awake yet, I leave the door locked.  
The wind was brisk, and fresh, the morning dew was just settling in as the sun was rising.  
My breath comes out in cloudy white puffs in front of me.  
Even if I live in the Night Court I must confess, morning is one of the best parts of a day. It’s quiet, and clear. The air seems newer, and as if it has replaced the air from yesterday. The birds singing is the only sound really, along with other things like the waves crashing against the sand, and the wind rustling in the trees.  
I run for a few short miles, and back. Sitting down on the sand in what seems to be in front of a fairly calm area, I sit down, skipping a few rocks, and just thinking.  
“What are you doing out here so early?”  
I chuckle, and turn towards a slightly out of breath sweaty Cynder. “The same thing you’re doing it seems.”  
She smirks at me mockingly, and states dramatically, “I can’t believe it. You a runner. I thought you were but a lonely, very solemn writer, possibly poet.”  
I frown and toss a small rock her way. “I run every morning it’s part of my routine, and it just so happens that I am not only a writer, but…” I shuffle a little my chest swelling, and wings flaring with the slight pride I showed, well it was either to show off the pride or just the bod, either way it is evidence. “I am also Rhysand’s one and only spymaster, and one of the warriors in his army. So yes I would like to stay, ready to fight at any possible moment, and in the right physical state to do it, and win…. Easily. The safety of this place rests in the hands of the inner circle, and I happen to carry that privilege along with everyone else in the circle. I love these people, and what I do, I will never give it up, not for the world, and if I shall die protecting them then so be it. That will be my honor.”  
We sit in silence, before she speaks again.  
“So you are prepared to fight at any time aye?”  
I raise a brow. “Yes. I am prepared to fight at any-”  
I don’t exactly get to finish what I’m saying before she tackles me wings to the ground.  
Shoving her off, and over my head after a few seconds of toppling back and forth to get on top, to straddle the other. We lay there for a few seconds, Cynder laughing slightly to herself, and I’m trying to hold together the restraint not to roar, and start killing. That has been and always with be the reaction you will get from an Illryian if you pin their wings, but I guess it is a good way to startle them also. Even after my childhood, and all of those past experiences I have been trying to reign in that emotion, for panic and rage, will get you nothing in a fight.  
“Honestly you’re pretty good. Next time I’ll actually try and we’ll see how it goes.” I will give her great credit for sounding proud of her little sense of humour   
I make a sound somewhere between a huff of laughter, and a growl.  
“Next time. You should be surprised I didn’t accidently stab you or something. Just because I say something doesn’t mean you need to check to see if I am true to my word.  
I could have killed you. Having innocent blood on my hands is a nightmare I don’t need to live through again.”  
She laughs. “You couldn’t of killed me, although you sure could try. Besides I am nowhere near innocent. A lot of people would probably congratulate you if you were able to kill me.”  
The anger I felt at that moment was a little harder to control then normal. “I will never no matter what you do, just immediately kill you. I don’t care what you have done to others, your past is your past. Not mine. I have no right to avenge anything if I have no right to even know about it. So you shall stay alive for as long as I am around, and if anyone were to harm you they will be punished by my hand. You were put in my house to protect you, and I don’t care about how unkillable you are, until you are longer apart of this land, and no longer apart of the Night Court, and only then will I no longer protect you.” I don’t remember when during my little rant did we get so close, but I out a scarred finger under her chin tilting, looking her in her very angry eyes.  
“Do you understand.”  
Grinding her teeth, she rolls her eyes and nods. “I can take care of my-”  
I huff out a breath, and let go of her standing up. “I am going to prepare breakfast, come in when you are ready.”   
I walk away without letting her respond, or at least that is what I think until I feel a small rock hit me hard right between the wings.


	7. Chapter 7

Cynder

I pick up a rock the size of my fist, and before I can think of what I’m doing I send the rock flying at him and hitting him right in between his wings. He turns around and starts walking towards me.   
“You want to start that, right now?” He says to me when he’s a foot away  
I just smile at him with this cruel looking smile that answers all his questions. He comes at me. He jumps on me. We fall to the ground. I grab his wings trying not to damage anything with my nails, and shove him hard enough that he topples slightly to the side, wings flaring under my hand, his breathing turns heavy. I grab him trying to knock him down again by launching myself onto him, and pushing him towards the ground just enough that he falls and I’m on top. then take one of my legs and kick him in the shin to keep him down. Then before I know what I’m doing I’m thrown off slightly, and roll until, I feel a pressure on my waist, and realized I’m pinned. He smirks at me, and rolls off. “You’re extremely talented, but just a little bit shorter than me. Besides I was prepared that time, and please as a reminder for next time. Never touch an Illyrian’s wings.”   
I quickly pounce on him keeping him to the ground, and laugh. “Okay, I win.” And walk off then winnow back into my room and change. 

I braide in my silver whip into my hair. Then I take my hair and braid it into a crown around my head. I put some diamond and pearl hair pins into my hair. They weren’t real the pearls were if I threw them on the floor they would blow and make a big smoke cloud. The diamonds if thrown on someone would track them the metal they were in if thrown would make a big explosion. I put on my knife bracelets on each wrist and my upper arm one that is a sword. I pull on the white dress that Azriel said he really liked. It is a v neck neckline, It is long and flows down by my feet and drags behind for a small trian effect. It has two high slits in it that go up to my thighs. I pull on a pair of tall brown gladiator sandals. I put in a pair of earrings and a matching necklace and a ring. I winnow down to the kitchen were Azriel is making breakfast. He looks up at me and he quickly looks away I see a tiny blush on his cheeks.   
“I like your dress.” Says Azriel   
“I know you do.” I say   
“Have to go do something.” I say I winnow off to a clearing with a tree and big hole in the middle. One guy is throwing rocks into the and a guy is screaming from the hole I walk up from behind and punch in the back of the head and he crumples to the ground. I see a rope on the ground and tie it around the tree and throw it into the hole I walk off and winnow back to Azriel’s house. When back I look down at my dress and see a bit of dirt on my dress I shake it out and go grab a plate that Azriel had lowered so I can get them and I plate some eggs for myself and Azriel and give him his plate and we sit down and eat. A little smile comes to my lips.   
“So what was so important you had to leave right then.” Azriel says  
“Oh you know just saving people's lives and that kind of stuff, that we do every day.”I say  
I get up and walk outside and walk down to the beach where the water has risen. I pick up my dress and walk in ever so little and stand there and let the wind and water wash over me. The world for right now seemed right.

Azriel

I looked out the window watching Cynder stand in the water. She seemed so at peace for the moment. Too bad nothing lasts forever.  
I sigh, shaking my head, and walk away from the window.   
I wonder where she went?   
I should have sent some of my shadows after her. Then I wouldn’t have to live with the curiosity.   
At least she said she was saving lives instead of taking them that gives me slight reassurance that she isn’t as much of a threat than some.  
I sit down at my desk, and start doing the paperwork, and such that I need to get down for my next mission, and signing a bunch of mission statements from the last one.  
I’m still filling, and signing papers from the war. Trust me that’s why we don’t have them often, because of all the paperwork.   
I chuckle to myself, and sign yet another paper, before Cynder runs in shaking herself sort of like a dog.  
“Hey! Don’t get water all over these papers, you’re soaked and the papers don’t need to be. How did you get soaked anyways?”  
She laughs and runs towards me throwing her wet body towards me.  
“No!” I catch her realizing too late that I am now also wet. Putting her back on the ground, and try to shake off some of the water, running a wet hand through my hair. “Thanks, I really needed that.” I roll eyes slightly.  
She gasps “Did you, Azriel the grumpy-pants just make a joke.”  
I frown, and sit back down.”You got water on some of my papers.”  
She laughs, and shakes herself again. “Sorry it will dry. Besides what else would I have gotten on it.”  
“Sand…” I say brushing some off a paper “Now answer the question what happened?”  
She begins to speak while I get her one of my giant fuzzy blankets that Feyre got me for Winter Solstice, wrapping it around her.  
“Well you see it got a little windy, and” she seems to mumble the last part, but still hearing her I keep a straight face. “Say that again.”  
“It blew me over okay! I fell in the water”  
That was it. I burst out laughing, the loudest laugh I had let out in years.

 

 

Cynder

The laugh that burst out of him is so loud and so joyous I start to laugh as well. I fall to the ground because I was laughing so hard. Azriel looked back down at me and starts to laugh all over again.   
“You were blown over by a gust of wind.” Azriel says   
“Yes I was.” I say and laugh   
Then I can’t hear myself laughing anymore there's no sound. My hands go up to my ears. I feel blood coming out and getting on my hands. I look up and see Azriel looking at me and then seeing the blood. All I can think is no not again. I can’t live in that endless soundless world I was living in before. I feel someone’s hands by my ears I look up to see worry written all over Azriel’s face. I start to feel myself going light head. I feel myself start to tilt towards the floor and stop when strong arms wrap around me. I feel the wind lash against my skin. All my senses are kicking back into overdrive because of the one I do not have. I open my eyes for a split second to see blue skies rushing by me and a worried face above me. I can’t let him know is the only thought I have so I do the one thing I know how to do well. I run. I close my eyes and winnow away. I open my eyes to see the bright sunny clearing I’ve only seen once. I just let the warm sun hit my face for the last time and feel a sense of happiness I have not felt in a millennium. I feel the light wrap itself around me like an old friend. And for the first time I let it I let the light hold me and comfort me. A shadow seems to move over my eyes and I look up see Azriel standing above me. He kneels down and pulls me into his lap. He wipes away the blood that has gotten on my face my white dress must have some on it as well. The materiel of my dress is still wet and sticking to my body showing off all my curves. The makeup I applied to the tattoos has washed away and the ones under my dress are showing through that I didn’t feel like putting any on. I look up and see Azriel speaking to me. I try to focus on his lips to see what he is saying but nothing is processing right. I just close my eyes and wish for the silent world to stop. I feel his strong arms wrap around me once again and try to pick me up. I push him away trying to get back to the ground he seems to realize this, but picks me up and carries me away from where I was on the ground. I feel the sun slowly drawn away from me, but still finds away to stick with me. I feel him crouch down and he sits down his back against a tree trunk. He keeps me in his arms cradling me my mind slowly fades and shuts down for once my mind just lets me be. It lets me just sleep, for the first time in centuries.


	8. Chapter 8

Azriel

Quickly her laughter dies out, and she goes pale. The tang of copper, and rust fills my nose. I hesitantly walk toward her before crouching. “Cynder?”  
Cynder stares at her shaking hands. Looking down to her hands they are stained with blood. The blood I smelled. Pulling her into my arms, her dress still wet I quickly start walking towards my room. “Cynder, come on can you hear me?”  
Suddenly black mist and wind flows around us. She tried to winnow away.  
We were in a green meadow, the sun shining brightly overhead as if it wasn’t early in the morning but midday.  
The sun shines down on her face making her almost glow, as the light seems to almost wrap around her almost like my shadows.  
My eyes trail slowly down her body. Her dress was still wet, I can feel the slight wetness still through my shirt from picking her up. Dark swirls and patterns seem to flow over her skin under her dress, her dress seems to stick to her body leaving nothing to the imagination.  
Snapping out of my trance like stare, Cynder fell to her knees, and I once again notice the blood dripping from her ears.  
“Cynder!” She makes no move almost as if she couldn’t hear me.  
My shadows surround me whispering to me, as if fighting with the gut-wrenching feeling to protect her, my wings flaring, as I jog towards her.  
Once again I fall to my knees next to her, I pulling her into my lap. Looking her over once more assessing the damage.  
“Cynder come on you need to respond.” Putting my hands up to her face I wipe of the excess blood on the sides of her face, my fingertips brushing lightly in her hair.  
Once again she doesn’t respond just looking blankly at my face, her eyes drifting downwards.  
Shaking her eyes drift closed, and then she squeezes them tightly shut.  
I pick her up shifting her weight so she is completely sideways in my arms.  
I sit down against a tree shifting us again to she is almost straddling me.  
Putting my arms around her carefully I pull her against me trying to keep her shivering to stop. Slowly it stops and she falls asleep against my shoulder.  
I tuck her hair behind her ears, and get up shifting her so she is once again laying almost sideways in my arms, and winnow back to the townhouse.  
Carrying Cynder to my room I grab a shirt, and and some socks. Making sure not to stare or look I swiftly change her out of the bloody dress and into the shirt. Wrapping her into as many blankets as possible I walk out of the room slowly making sure no one is hiding in the corners. I look back once more to see her already having wriggled out of most of the blankets, mouth hanging open.  
I chuckle, and winnow downstairs to grab some work before coming back, and sitting at the desk in my room, making sure not to leave her side. Now we wait  
Cynder

My eyes slowly open. I try to see if my bugs are working again, but they are still nonfunctional. I slowly sit up. I feel vibrations coming from the floor as someone comes walking over to me. I look up to see Azriel walking over to me. I look down to see that I am in one of his shirts. I look up at him and see my look because I see his pull up into a small smirk. His lips start to move forming words. “Sorry, but I had to change you or you could of gotten sick. I promise I didn’t look.”  
I put my hand up by my throat to make sure when I speak I made noise louder than a whisper “Thanks.” I say hopefully  
“Your Welcome.” His lips shape  
“I’m going to go put some pants on.” I say hand still by my throat.  
I get up from the bed and fall out of it face first almost because of the blankets being wrapped around my legs.  
Big hands catch me before I hit the ground. They set me straight up on my feet the shirt hitting in the middle of my shins because of how small I am. I look up and the small smile on Azriel’s face has gotten bigger. A small blush comes to my cheeks. I Look down at my left leg and the names that are wrapped around it. My right was starting to bother me like it usually does if a storm is coming in or really always just it gets worse when one comes in. I walk out of Azriels room trying not to lipm. I get to my room, and grab a pair of leggings pulling them up and wince a tad. I winnow down to the kitchen and make myself some tea. I go and pick up the book I was reading the night before and start up on it i grad it and go back to my tea and winnow back up to my room and sit down at my desk. I put my hand on my throat. I make a low sing song note. I feel a tickle in my ears as my bugs crawl out of my ears. They crawl out and jump down to the table. There gold metal plating is in the shape of small ladybugs. I get up and walk over to my bag and get out my box of tools to fix them. I walk over and push down on the right one and the plating on the back lifts up so that I could see what was wrong. A wire had come lose and the water that got in them had sent an electric shock shorting out my bugs and making what was left of my ears to bleed. I get to work fixing the wire and and fixing the other that got a tad fried. When I was done I made the low sing song note and the back plates slide back into place and they jump back up and crawl back into my ears. The sound of knocking rings out I get up and open my door.  
“Hey.” I say to Azriel  
“Um, hey. There’s a meeting for the inner circle so I’m going to be out for a bit.” He says  
“Oh, can I go with you or is it no outsiders meeting.” I say with a smile on my face  
“Uh,sorry not this time.” He says with a sad smile  
“Oh, no it’s okay I was just going to catch up on my book any way.” I say  
He nods his head and turns and leaves.I close my door and I turn around and look outside to see it dark. I head to my closet pulling out a knife holster that I bulk like a belt and bulk around my thighs. I put in my knives and my twin black silver diamond tip daggers that look like a dragon head at the hilts with black pearls and red rubies for the eyes. Go at my waist. I pull off the shirt I had on and throw it on my floor. I go in and pull on my black skin tight sleeveless crop top and grab my long black vest with the hood that falls over me eyes. I eye my swords but decide against them for tonight. I pull on my boots that go up above my ankles so they have more support. Then grab my wrist guards that hook around my thumb and stop around two inches before my elbow. They are sleek and black with small silver buttons that I button. Two blades can come out the sides if wanted. I look in the mirror and braid my hair into two dutch braids down my back that stop at my butt. I make sure everything is where I want it and I am pleased with the result. I open my window and jump out it. And go after Azriel like a shadow in the night following him to this meeting that I wasn’t aloud to go to. I get to the stairs. My left legs was in a lot of pain. I start to rub by my knee. I start up them.  
When I get up there I pause for a moment before I walk in. I take a breath and fling open the doors six heads turn fast toward me.  
“You started the party without me I was so hoping I was going to get here before then.” I say and fling the hood off my hy head that had been covering my face. I had a big smile on my face. The look on their faces made it so much better than I could have hoped. 

 

Azriel

“I believe we should go after them they deserve what is coming to them.” Amren stated while running a finger along the rim of her glass.  
“I don’t know Amren. For once we shouldn’t be killing just because they did something stupid.” Morrigan sighed while pacing in front of me.  
“Exactly, they did something stupid. They deserve to learn that actions have consequences”  
Rhysand sighs rubbing his head, while Feyre played with her drink. “I think Morrigan’s right besides we are supposed to be known for the second chances we give.” He said looking at all of us.  
Amren rose to her feet. “Yes we may give them an out, but not like some undisciplined parent giving out sweets trying to get their brat to shut up or stop throwing a tantrum.”  
I step forward hand twitching to grab my sword. “Amren I believe you should sit down, we have all been given one to many second chances, that we probably didn’t deserve. We cannot go around trying to punish those who may change their ways.”  
As everyone nods in agreement my head snaps up to the sound of the door slamming open.  
Cynder. I can’t believe this. She said she was reading a book, what’s the point of lying if I was going to find out anyways.  
“Well, Riel you look as if you almost missed me.” Cynder casually drawls while playing with a button on her black suit, before sending me a wicked smirk.  
I school my face into neutrality withholding my surprise at the small nickname not letting my eyes stray over the tight fitting black suit she had changed into. “Did you seriously just climb a few hundred steps to surprise us.”  
She rolls her eyes dramatically before sighing, “No you dimwit, I climbed the stairs because I love them, besides it was a good warm up for my afternoon exercise.”  
“Of course now it makes complete sense, as to why you winnow up the ten stairs in ou- my house. You have stair standards. If they don’t scare someone then you don’t feel the need to walk up them, but I they can actually kill people from physical exhaustion, then you’re interested.” I scoff  
There is a wild gleam in her eye as if she lives for this. “Of course why would I do something any other way.”  
I roll my eyes back at her repeating her actions from earlier. “I still don’t understand why you did it. Were you practicing stomping on the steps as if they were your enemies, I swear I could hear you from a mile away,” I small white lie, one she will probably notice, for she was as silent as a cat stalking its prey, no one knew she was coming.  
By this time almost everyone is looking at us amused, except for Morrigan who is looking at Cynder as if she was about to pounce on her, but Cynder just continues to ignore everyone.  
She glares at me as if saying I will step on you next you aren’t careful with what you are saying. “Of course not why would I practice if I can already do it without a hitch.”  
I chuckle slightly knowing I am already pushing the boundaries of this conversation, and shoot her a look as if saying ‘I’d like to see you try.’  
“Maybe I’ll step on you next Riel, you won’t even see it coming, watch your back.”  
All the sudden a booming laugh comes from the other side of the room. Whipping around I notice Cassian almost rolling on the floor in hysterics. “You guys are so endearing.”  
I choke in surprise before falling into a coughing fit, my face suddenly feeling slightly warm, and I’m sure I look slightly like Cynder at the moment who’s cheeks were not only stained from the wind outside but now slightly more so by Cassian’s comment  
Cynder spins around to face him with that small blush and grimace on her face. “I will slaughter you.”  
Cassian looks at her almost pouting while Nesta smirks at him “But you’re so small and harmless looking, you couldn’t hurt of fly”  
“I may be small and cute but I have fought on battlefields before you came into existence boy, I would watch your mouth next time you want to assume something.”  
Amren tenses behind Cynder as does everyone else, her eyes widened in shock and slight pain before, she plays it off pulling at her necklace as if it was missing a jewel.  
Quickly Nesta breaks the tension by laughing lightly. “She has quite the mouth, you have chosen well Azriel. I will enjoy getting to know her.”  
Cynder remains tense before walking over to me and whispering to me. “Does she even realize what I just said, or did she just ignore it all. I am not the best company for a newly made fae let alone one with child.”  
I try to get myself back in order long enough to reply. “Nesta knows her limits, and is fairly sensible honestly, although you are apparently a good century or two older then most of us I would take having Nesta’s acceptance as a compliment, and great honour for she does not bestow that on everyone.” I warn her before throwing a slight glance in Amren, Morrigan, and Rhysand’s direction.  
Cassian starts cooing in the backround before Nesta sighs “Please don’t compliment me Azriel or I will end up look as red as you are from a few moments ago.”  
I quickly start stuttering trying to object while Cassian starts laughing again, and Cynder glares her face going as red as mine.  
“Look Azriel’s blushing, this is a once in a century occurrence hurry Feyre start painting, we must capture this rare moment.”  
Cynder steps forwards as if she were about to charge Cassian, before I grab her arm as if I would hold her back. “What did I say about watching you say. Make fun of my host again and I shall see to it that no one ever sees you again.”  
I lean slightly lowering my tone “Cynder calm down, he is just teasing it isn’t like I was actually blushing or anything he is just having fun, there is no need to threaten anyone. Besides I don’t need you to step in for me. ” She huffs and tugs her arm away.  
My wings flare slightly as Feyre has now joined Cassian in their charades, and it seems as if Rhysand is showing mock affection to Cassian, as if they were a young couple completely infatuated with each other.  
Eventually everyone calms down and and once again starts acting like responsible adults, while Cynder continues to pout over my restraint over her violent actions.  
All the sudden she looks at me eyes twinkling with mischief. Before I can tell her of she escapes my sudden attempt to reign in her actions and she bounce off into the group almost skipping in glee. “Does anyone want to arm-wrestle me. It really has been to long since I have fought someone like that, I would like to know if I can still come out victorious.” She smirks back at me silently, while Cassian get up slapping his hands on his knees.  
“Well if you really want to know if you can still lose you might as well go up against me.”  
I scoff in disbelief, before turning away running a hand through my hair.  
“Now Cynder don’t go crying over to Azriel when I beat you, but I guess I will go easy on you this first time”  
Cynder laughs lightly. “Please don’t hold back on my account.”  
I walk towards them. “Please to hold back on her account, I don’t want to have to drag either of you back to your places unconscious because this got too out of hand.”  
Cassian wiggles his eyebrows at me “Right I forget you get to take her back home after this don’t you, besides I am sticking to my word I will go easy on her you won’t have to rush her to a medic on my doing.” He smirks.  
I frown innocently “You hurting her… I’m sorry I think you misunderstood, Nesta is in no shape to be the one carrying you home so it would have to be me.”  
“See even the most sensible person in this room can agree that I will beat you.” Cynder smirks and Nesta laughs at Cassian.  
After the third round Cassian is cursing severely, and rubbing his hand, while Cynder laughs silently. Everyone is watching and laughing as Cassian has officially lost all three rounds. “Six out of eight?” He mumbles before setting his arm again on the table.  
Nesta sighs, and shakes her head. “I believe it is time for us to get home Cassian. ‘Mr. I’m Like My Dad And Need Twenty Hours Of Sleep A Day.’  
Cassian just laughs “I know this child is already taking after me.”  
Cynder smiles softly at them and then walks towards the door. “I guess we should also be heading back home Riel.”  
I snort in disbelief. “You really believe that I am going to walk down those stairs for you?” I try to ignore the comment she made about home, but it seem to be just sitting there in my mind like a heavyweight.  
“I guess you’re right what’s the point of walking down those stairs if I know you’ll catch me.” Cynder smirks turning to face me and the window.  
“What are you talk-” I don’t get to finish my sentence before she is racing towards the window and launching herself out of it. “Taxi!”  
I gaped after her and launch myself out after her. I speed up but the ground seems to be coming up too quickly. I push myself faster feeling my wings strain from the wind. As soon as I touch my hand to her’s I launch myself up my wings skimming the ground.  
“Are you insane?! You could have died!” I stop talking as I feel her shaking in my arms. “Cynder…. Cynder?”  
She looks up at me eyes twinkling, shaking from laughter. “Let’s do that again.”  
I tense up more than I already was. “Are you crazy?! We are never doing that again, what if I hadn’t caught you? Do you even realise that you would have died and it would have been my fault.”  
She waves a hand in the air dismissively. “You would have gotten over it. Besides I trusted that you would catch me. No matter what. ” She smiles lightly.  
I just look away not letting her get away with this. We get to my town house and I drop her off without saying a word I walk to my room and stay there for the rest of the night working silently.


	9. Chapter Nine

Cynder

After Riel dropped me off he stomped off to his office like the moody male he is. The worst that could have happened is that I’d break a lot of bones that would have healed anyway. I winnow up to my room thinking what I was going to do with all this free time I have and decide I was just going to sleep. I was quite happy with my arm wrestles with Cassian. A smug smile pulled onto my lips. I went to my closet and pulled on my night clothes falling into bed.  
I wake up the next morning and take a fast shower out a sports bra and put my long vest thing back on still couldn’t remember what it was called so it will forever remain as long vest thing and some loose pants. I go out of the town house going for the woods hoping to find a tree to beat up. 

Winnowing into the woods I scan my surroundings looking for signs of recent activity Looking around there is a small sparkling lake. The water is clear and deep with small fish swimming peacefully. The area is surrounded by large dark reddish brown trees.  
Jumping from foot to foot. I pace quietly trying to calm down. After a while I just start to think of the shit that has been going on in my life. I turn around and start to punch the tree jabbing it, then I start to add more difficult swings into it. I throw a right hook, left hook, jab combo, then I just start to throw punches harder and harder. Not caring that it was going to rip up my hands or that it hurt.   
The pain seem to keep me centered on what I was doing punch after punch to this tree then throwing kicks into this tree I felt it giving the tree was waning. Starting to give up from the beating I was giving it. I didn’t notice the tears that were running down my face or that I had just broke two of my fingers. Everything that I had been keeping in for the last couple months came tumbling out like a rain cloud that just drops all its weight on everything. My left leg was what gave out. It made me have to stop, also the tree was going to fall over in a matter of minutes.   
I just crumpled to the ground like a sack of grain. My left leg was killing me. My hands were not as bad but still hurt like crap. I try to pull myself up but there was no getting up with my leg like how it was. I start to rub it. The ach coming from my right leg was the least of my pain. How was I going to get home without Azriel noticing I was injured was my problem like usual.  
But then a dark figure came out of the mist. I look at it and see the rigid bob cut hair and knew it was my mother, I had to try so hard to hold back the rush of air but some of it came out.   
“Amren what are you doing here.” I say   
“Making sure you don’t kill yourself by accident. Like you have done so many times.” Says Amren leaning on the tree I had been beating.  
I was about to say something when the tree finally gave out and started to fall I was right underneath it. I try to roll out of the way, but the branches catch me before I can get out from underneath. I feel the branches hitting me mainly hitting my left leg and the pain kept coming in waves. Flaring each time worse than the last. The pain just wouldn’t stop. I hear someone calling out my name, but all I could focus on was the pain. The memories of all the pain I’ve gone through in my life just rushes in and out of my mind and pain flares in areas that I have harmed and all the pain I have to release it some how and it comes through a scream.  
I scream to the world for the pain the world has shown for what it made me go through for all the bad and taking the good away from me from taking what makes me good from me so that I came cold and mean. I feel the ground was shaking and realize that it’s because of me. The scream is still echoing from me and has turning to a silent cry. Colors all seemed to merge into one not standing out in any one way or another. I hear yelling and my name being called. The pressure of the tree seemed to slowly be coming off me. Someone gently picks me off the ground. I cry out just a little and the person start to try and sooth me. They start to hum. I look up to see who it was that was cradling me. I look up to Riel above me. I barely get to the words before the world seems to disappear from the outside in.  
“I knew you couldn’t stay mad at me for long.” I say   
“No I can never stay mad at you for long little chaos.” Says Riel   
And quickly the pain takes me under. 

 

Azriel 

I wake up my to a painful knot in my neck from falling asleep at my desk. Carefully rolling my neck I squint at the sun rays shining through my window. Sighing, I get up closing the curtain and make my way downstairs. I make myself breakfast and get ready for a run. It’s warm out already so I decide against a shirt, and just go in my running shoes and workout pants.   
I breathe in deeply trying to relax my power stirs restless, the shadows curling and swarming around me to much to be normal, as if something is off. It seems as if the world is waiting for something, the air still, the birds quiet and people too. Everyone is going about their usually morning routines, but the cheerfulness is gone, left with a still, heavy, unknown silence.   
It’s almost become unbearable and I decide to to turn back. When suddenly a large crash sounds and a deafening scream fills the air. Dropping to my knees I cover my ears in pain. People look at me strange as if they don’t hear it. But it’s so loud how can they not? What is going on? It resounds through my head like the screams of a million souls living through their worst nightmares on repeat. Images after images flash through my head of crimson hands, deep swirling silver eyes, A little girl. So many.   
“Azriel!” A sharp pain lances across my face, snapping me out of those jarring images to detailed with too much feeling to be fake, almost real enough to be memories, but whos?  
I look up to who hit me to see Amren staring down at me with a wide almost dazed and terrified look on her face. “A-amren what are you doing? What’s wrong.”   
She glares at me for a second and mutters ‘I can’t believe you let her out of your sight.’  
Narrowing my eyes I look at her. “Amren let who out of my sight? Where is Cynder? What did she do? Does this have to do with the screaming?”  
She looks at me wide eyed and just shakes her head grabbing my hand. “I did something bad I shall explain when we get to her, quickly.”  
I nod and we are swiftly enveloped in dark smoke and winds. Once it clears we have arrived in the small clearing I had considered teaching Ferye to fly in but it is different this time. There was a large tree covering half the clearing and the scent of blood and sweat. I whip around facing the tree when I hear faint whimpers. As soon as I seen Cynder every damn thought flies out of my mind. She lies on the ground eyes and fists clenched, her leg trapped under the fallen tree. She breathes seems to breathe out a shuddering breath but it just comes out as a whimper. I see red, everything goes red and it’s as if I immediately get tunnel vision. All I can see if Cynder. Running over, I crouch over her. I don’t even know how I lifted this tree but I do it just enough to be able to drag her out. Checking the damage to her leg the pants are ripped and bloody, and there is a jagged gash in her leg which is twisted at extremely unnatural angle. I carefully try to maneuver into a position where I can pick her up without injuring her leg further. She whimpers again and opens her eyes slightly. “I knew you couldn’t stay mad at me for long.” She whispers I shake my head slowly, the anger fading, ebbing away in waves leaving behind the feeling of extreme wariness of my surroundings and the need to keep her safe. “No I can never stay mad at you for long my Little Chaos.”   
She sighs lightly and closes her eyes, letting the pain sweep her under.  
I look behind me and grab Amren who had been standing quietly in the background and winnow to the house.`  
\--------------------  
After quickly but gently cleaning Cynder’s wounds, and bracing her leg -thankfully it was a very easy reset- I had changed her clothes and put her in my bed before storming down the stairs to the living room where a very irritated yet concerned looking Amren sat on the couch where I had told her to stay.   
I pace for a few long moments before turning towards her. “You said you had done something bad, and no tree can just fall on someone. What happened in that clearing?”  
Amren clears her throat before responding. “Technically I had just leaned on the tree she was the one who cause the trees instability.”  
I narrow my eyes. “She perfectly planned to somehow make a tree unstable enough that if someone leaned on it would just fall down. Then knowing you would arrive she stands in the exact spot it would fall knowing you would apparently lean on it. Or did you plant her under that tree after causing the injury to her leg?” Raising my voice, I clench my fist trying to restrain the anger once again rising to the surface. “Which was it Amren? Huh? I know you well enough to know you can know about everything going on in that clearing as soon as you walk in, and you are good enough to notice that the tree wasn’t exactly right apparently.”  
Amren stands teeth bared at me in a silent warning. “Do not use that tone with me boy, - I snarl -my wing flaring again as if I was preparing to fight Amren- but let it fade as she continues to speak- “As soon as I got there nothing that I had done was with the intention to harm Cynder and if you would just listen I just might tell you what happened.”  
I sit down quietly making a dramatic gesture for her to sit again. “Well then please do tell your tale.”  
\--------------------------  
Once completely informed on what had happened in that clearing the anger that was festering earlier is no longer aimed at Amren but to myself and slightly Cynder. Looking down at my scarred hands I realize once again it is my fault someone under my attention, someone I was supposed to protect is injured. All my fault. If I had just taken what she had done yesterday as a joke and not been so overprotective, we would have never fought and she would have never run off without me knowing.  
Although even if we fought she shouldn’t have run off into a clearing with the intention of hurting herself. She shouldn’t of secluded herself with whatever feelings were swirling through her mind, but yet again I guess I was the one to blame. I had pushed her away after the fight and avoided her. All because I was too much of a damned coward to face my fears and trust her.  
Slamming my hands on the tables, I drop my head into my hands tugging my hair. My breathing comes out quick short pants. There is a creak from the floorboards before a small warm hand with the slight padding of a bandage falls on my shoulder.   
“What are you doing?” Cynders asks questionly yet groggily.  
I flinch slightly and pull back from her hand. “The better questions is what are you doing? You should be in bed until your leg is fully healed.”   
She looks at me confuse. “I’ll be fine, are you okay?”  
I get up and pick her up ignoring the question. “Nope, you are going back to bed until I am completely sure you are healed.”   
She shrieks and wacks me on the back. “W-what no, let me down! I said I feel fine. It’s jump achy.”  
“I can hear you limping from a mile away, that is not just an ache.”  
“Well you have to expect me to limp when it put this thing on my leg. Where did you even get it?” Cynder almost whines in response.  
After making my way upstairs, I walk into my room putting her carefully under the blankets. “Stay here I will bring you food.”  
She throws off the blankets but instead of getting from the bed she discreetly snuggles into the pillow. “Can I at least stay in my own bed?”   
I frown slightly, “No I need you where I can keep and eye on you at all times.”  
She painstakingly rolls onto her stomach face in the pillow. “Well Dr. Azriel I hope you enjoy taking care of your pickiest patient yet.”


End file.
